Air India finally did something to make us sit up and take notice. They announced that they would provide wi-fi facilities to people on board their aircraft. This is great, but we don't think they've thought through some of the funnier consequences of their decision. Here are some examples:
1. Neighbours will become less irritating: That old aunty who talks about her back problem, that fat man who takes over half your seat in addition to his own - all of them can be vanquished by one simple medicine - WhatsApp.
2. Less babies will get bad wishes: Every person who ever wants to sleep on an aircraft is always greeted by a baby with magnificent lungs and a bad mood, and all such people spend the entire flight wishing for bad things to happen to the baby. But now, with Facebook available as a distraction, crying babies won't even be noticed.
3. The lack of in-flight entertainment won't matter: Air India has everything except on-demand movies on seats, but with WiFi, it won't matter any more. Everyone will just switch on their torrents together.
4. Corporate workers will be even more harassed: Conference calls. Urgent emails. Powerpoint slides. Excel models. All these were once not expected from an employee on a flight. No more. With WiFi, Air India has essentially transported your boss on the seat next to you.
5. There will be no more queues once the flight stops: In India, we queue up in the aisles 10 minutes before the flight doors open, so that we can feel that our normal life, with smartphones and Facebook and Twitter, is closer to us. After internet on planes, our life will be in our hands the whole time. The in-flight attendants will have to pull people out of seats.
6. People will start flying for the free WiFi: We in India do crazy things to get free WiFi. We sit in coffeeshops for hours, buying coffees that we don’t need or want. We sit in public places and try desperately to crack the insecure passwords. Basically, WiFi is, for us, a red rag to a bull, and we will do anything to get it. Even if it involves paying thousands of rupees for a flight ticket.
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